Hello. I am noted Austrian neurologist and Father of Psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud. I have been asked to look at excerpts from real event planning job functions from real job listings and provide my expert analysis of their significance within the minds and lives of the people who choose to undertake them.

Gather your id, ego and super-ego as we delve into the mysteries of the mind of an event planner.

Manage event set-up on the day of the functions, which often requires working outside regular business hours

"Your propensity to work long hours and avoid your responsibilities outside of the workplace signals an ingrained habit of avoidance in your personal life. Particularly relating to laundry and dishes."

Oversee volunteer groups and occasional per-diem or consultant event assistance to achieve maximum productivity

"A pathological need to control others is a symptom of an overly-regimented childhood. Asserting your will onto others is a cry for the rigorous structure from your childhood. Oh, I’m sorry. We’re talking about volunteers. Never mind. They need to be herded like cattle."

Make solicitation calls to potential event sponsors and resend event materials as needed

"Neediness is the hallmark of narcissism. Try considering the needs of others before making requests that will benefit yourself. For sponsors, this usually involves hanging a 4’x20’ print of their logo at the entrance to your event for eternity."

Constantly evaluate the experience, feedback and results and implement changes accordingly

"Nagging self-criticism stems from unrealistic expectations for achievement imposed upon yourself. Nagging criticism stems from unrealistic expectations for achievement imposed by your clients."

Anticipates change and directs or redirects efforts

"A preoccupation with thinking you can control the future will lead to unnecessary present stress and neglect of your current responsibilities. Oh, and I forgot to mention next quarter’s projections are due tomorrow. Thanks."

Continuously drive key initiatives to deliver great innovation at world class speed, cost and innovation

"A mind without rest is a life waiting to implode in upon itself. So when it does, please call me and we can talk about my hourly rates."